brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
