Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
