Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
