Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
