Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
