I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
