GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
