Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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