i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Of course I have a pirate flag
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
