and you said cock pushups were impossible
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
