So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize