That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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