you thought your balls were fighting each other...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize