just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
