Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
