talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
