I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize