When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
