If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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