it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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