At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
