Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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