You really coming over, don't trick.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
