Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
