Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
