check it out our google latitudes are spooning
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
