I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
