I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize