fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
