Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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