Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
