god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
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