i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
