I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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