We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
