are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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