worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
