Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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