she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
