He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
