butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
