you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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