I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
