He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
