found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
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