lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
