Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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