So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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