if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
