i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
