In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
it's great music for shaving your balls
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize