very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
