We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I think I sprained my soul last night
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
