No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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