Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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