I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
