Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
