a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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