dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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