but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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