Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
