that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
