Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
