I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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