He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
no you cant smoke seaweed
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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