I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize