Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
