problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
