um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
