I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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