You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Quick, to the slutcave!
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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