Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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