reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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