he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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