This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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